TRUST

It's been a rough few days.  It was a hard weekend.  It was gloomy!  Cold, and big thunderstorms.  Normally I love days like that, but it really didn't help how I was feeling!

I can't get the sweet little Mia girl out of my mind.   I cry for her family.  Oh, how they must miss and ache for her.  I don't want to even imagine how bad it hurts.  My stomach has this pit in it constantly right now as they are always on my mind.

I have been off my Synthroid Medication since Sept. 27th.  My Doctor told me probably around 2 weeks out I would start feeling the symptoms.  Tired, restless, depressing feelings, low energy, the list goes on.  Basiclly a walking Zombie!  :)    Then there is this diet!  So with all the no med symptoms, not eating much, and then feeling such sorrow for the McDonald family, well, it's just not a good mix!

Plus, Jeremy had to be in the Philippines!

I felt so guilty on Saturday!  Guilty and sad that I even think to complain about anything when I see what Mia's family is going through.  Really puts life into perspective.  I have been getting sad about having to be away from my family for a week when I do my treatment.  HELLO!  It's a one week separation.  Mia's family has to experience a lifetime separation.

I couldn't even go to church on Sunday.  I was physically and emotionally exhausted, and knew I'd just be a basket case there, and had no energy to even get ready.

So in all this sadness and confusion.......Kenzie and I decided to sit down and go through her masses of piano music on Sunday afternoon.

It got my mind off things for awhile.  We had fun looking back at her beginning piano books and seeing how far she has come.  I love this talent she has.  It bring a beautiful spirit into our home when she plays.  I am so excited that Molly is playing now too.  Molly really takes it seriously!  :)

So we had organized everything and were getting ready to put them on my office bookshelves.  I noticed 2 books by the piano on the floor toward the wall.  Novels.  One was Kenzie's she had been reading off and on, and one was a book my mom left here.  I picked them up and noticed a color of blue sticking out from one(can't remember which book).  I opened to the page and saw a bookmark with the words "TRUST" at the top with a scripture below it:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."   Proverbs 3:5-6

No there are not coincidences.....I know I was supposed to find that bookmark!  I needed to read that.  "TRUST in him with all my heart"  I needed to be reminded of that.  Oh, my heart will still ache.  I will still be tired, sad, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, exhausted, and hungry!  But, TRUST, in him!  TRUST!  

THEN.................

At 2:00pm, on Sunday, my friend Sue called.  She was worried about me since I wasn't at church.  I had barely said Hello, when she said "Jill,  I am coming over tomorrow.  We want you to have things for us to do.  We want to help you."   I started to cry!  TRUST in Him   I have felt overwhelmed with all I had to do before my mother in law comes to help with the kids while I am gone, but am just almost too tired to do any of it.  Thank the Lord for friends who are in tune with the Spirit!

I pretty much cried myself to sleep Sunday night.  Just thinking about all we have to deal with in this life.  UGH!  Yet cried also for the JOY that comes from friends who love and care for us especially in our time of need.   TRUST in Him! 

Sue came over Monday at 11:00am.  She helped me fold laundry, she dusted my blinds, piano, and bookshelves.  I loved having her here.  She is always so much fun to visit with.

My friends Becky and Angelita took Molly and Mya for the morning and early afternoon.   Becky had them play, fed them, took Molly to school, then took Mya to Angelita's.   TRUST in Him!

These women are true Angels!  I love them!    

I had to pick Kenzie up from school musical practice at 6pm.  Madilynn told me tonight that Lindsay had stopped by while I was gone to see how I was doing.  TRUST in Him!  Love Lindsay!  So sad I missed her.   I called her a little bit ago, and cried through the entire message I left.  She is always thinking of everyone else!  Love that lady!

I had a Relief Society Presidency meeting this morning.  I had forgotten I would need to have someone watch Molly and Mya.  Becky kept them for 2 hrs., even feeding them lunch again!  Love that girl!

I cried when I walked into my friend Karen's house for the meeting.  The tears just flowed.  Goodness!!!!  Karen was so thoughtful to have fresh strawberries on the table for me to eat.   Usually we have Betty Crocker(that's what we call Sherrie, 1st Counselor) make something yummy and delicious.  Karen knew I couldn't eat anything Sherrie was making, and was so thoughtful to think of me. TEARS!  TRUST in Him! Next thing I knew my RS President had meals lined up for my family the time I am gone next week.  Sweet Sherrie( my friend and 1st counselor) said to send her a recipe from the special diet  I am on and she will make it for me to have next week during isolation!  TRUST in Him!   These women are amazing and I'm grateful to serve with them and be their friends!

Tonight I was having a rough go again.   Tears just coming!   The overwhelming feeling was starting to creep in again. Tired, hungry, sad for Mia's family, missing Jer, overlwhelmed!  UGH!   Madi had called her friend, Mandy, about spending the night tomorrow night. Kids are starting their Fall break for parent teacher conference and are out of school until Tuesday Oct. 23rd.  Anyway, Madi handed me the phone, my friend Mary, Mandy's Mom, wanted to talk with me.   I said "Hi" and Mary said I'd been on her mind and she wanted to bring me dinner tomorrow night.  TRUST in Him!   I love Mary, she is an amazing lady!  After talking about what things I can or can't eat, she is going to make a  special low-iodine diet meal for me!   Amazing!  TRUST in Him!

I even got a facebook message from my cousins wife today, asking how I was doing.  Trust in Him! 

Honestly, other little miracles happend, even last week.  I am grateful for inspired Sister-in-Laws & Sister.  They did things for me, before I even saw the scripture bookmark on Sunday.   I got packages from Ashley and Ang last week.  Ang sent me a wonderful Vegan cookbook.  I just can't use the suggested soy, and substitute with non-iodine salt.  So sweet and thoughtful of her!  Ashley ordered me the cutest Halloween cup for water.  In fact, another package came today, with another cute Halloween waterc up.  She knows how important it is that I drink water right now.  My sister Joy sent me the cutest card in the mail!  Just a little pick me up!  Loved it!   My other sister in law, Jeff's Ashley, sent me a sweet message on my blog.  She knows hard times too.  She lost her little brother earlier this year.  I thank her for the encouraging words.  TRUST in Him! 

My parent's and Jer's parents are so amazing to help us out!

A package also arrived last week from Jer's Aunt Linda, from California.  Inside was a beautiful Willow Tree called "Beautiful Wishes"   I loved it!

TRUST in Him! I am blessed to have such amazing family!  They are all in tune, and knew what I needed, before I even knew.

I am blessed to have amazing friends!  These women I have here surrounding me are like family.  When you live away from family, your friends become your family.  There are so many other things that have been done for me and my family.  The list goes on and on.  This is just the last few hard days!  The last months have been full of so many blessings, so many.  Friends, family, ward members, neighbors!  My neighbor, Wendy, and her Mom, oh, my heart bursts when I think of all they have done and continue to do for us.  I thank my Father in Heaven for each one of them!

So while trials will still come, heartache &; sorrow will still be there, I must TRUST in him!  I don't understand his timing or sometimes his plans for us, but obviously, he is listening to my prayers and I know he listens to us all.


Jill